This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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