I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Randomize
