i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
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