I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize