dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
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If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
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