i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize
