you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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