So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
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