He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
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