I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
