I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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