I wish I only lived at night.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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