Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
