Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
