She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
