why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
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the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
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