Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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