it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
