He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
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