just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
She's not a foreskin expert like you
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
