WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
