All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Randomize
