Heybabeimwearingurpanties
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
