We won't sleep together?
I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
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to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
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you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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