Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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