Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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