Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize