we're blogging at a bar
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
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