Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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