when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
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