UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
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so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
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Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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