It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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