Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
