Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
