I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
