you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
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he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
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Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Holy shit dude........stairs
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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