dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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