So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
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