I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
