Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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