Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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