Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Randomize
