New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
We are two peas in an std pod
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
