When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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