You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I just want nice things and good sex
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Randomize
