You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
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The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
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You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
is it fun? or sober?
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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