if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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