i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
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I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
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Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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