she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Sober January is a disaster.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Randomize
