never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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