I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Randomize
