when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
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