How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
