And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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