I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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