Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
