Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
