she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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