is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Are we still banned from the library?
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
