Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
