just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
