remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
We had sex on a dog bed..
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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