no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Life without a bra equals bliss.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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