I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
