Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Randomize
