The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
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All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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