The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Randomize
